Wednesday, November 6, 2019
Self-Leadership & Money: The Top 5 Lies I Used To Myself
Self-Leadership & Money: The Top 5 Lies I Used To Myself: Spoiler alert, spoiler alert! I used to lie to myself a lot. We all lie to ourselves but of course we don't do it intentionally except o...
The Top 5 Lies I Used To Myself
Spoiler alert, spoiler alert! I used to lie to myself a lot. We all lie to ourselves but of course we don't do it intentionally except on the occasions when we are having a pity party. It all happens unconsciously in the subconscious mind after repeated reinforcement fed by believing thoughts we did not "hold up to the light of day" and examine if they are true or not. We lie to ourselves and yet we demand absolute truth from those around us because we are honest upstanding human being citizens. Imagine that? No wonder there is such a tremendous lack of compassion in our world.
Intellectual knowledge of this phenom wont change a thing though. I considered and prided myself as one of those honest, upstanding human beings and so it was intentional focused effort to get through one of the most difficult periods on my earthly sojourn that lead me to the work of Byron Katie @ByronKatie, TheWork.com lead me to this awareness. It is close to twenty years now. During one of our sessions my coach put on a tape of a talk by Byron Katie; prior to that I never heard of her but that was life changing for me. In the tape Ms. Katie relayed the dramatic story that a mistrusting young wife told herself about her husband every time he's late getting home followed by her punch line "just because you have a thought doesn't mean you have to believe it". That session definitely ignited in me the habitual practice of reflection and self-examination. Here are the top 5 lies I told myself, in no particular order of frequency or intensity.
#1. No one was there for me - lie, lie, lie! Perhaps some people who I expected or wanted to be there for me during my difficulties were not there. They did not show up in any way, as a matter of fact some ran for the hills, however God placed some very awesome people in my life at every step of my journey. When I shifted my focus to being grateful and thankful for those who showed up my hurts vanished as I was no longer a victim of circumstances and more help, more opportunities and more appreciation showed up as well.
#2. I raised my children by myself - this could not be more false! Many single and divorced parents tell themselves this lie. Every single step of the way there we incredible people in my life. While there were no biological grandparents around and certainly not the closeness of uncles, aunts and cousins I grew up with, every place lived I met and lived and worshiped among terrific people. Even now when I visit my old neighbourhood in Heart Lake Village, Brampton Ontario I instinctively say to myself "this was a great place to raise my children, I could not have picked a better place to live - I could still live here".
#3. Life is hard - yes it is hard if that is what I tell myself. My grandparents' lives were hard, and in some cases brutal! I remember hearing stories from my maternal grandfather, Granville, affectionately called Pupa, about living in Cuba and working on the Panama Canal. He returned home a sick man and remained sickly for the remainder of his life. My parents' lives were hard, they mostly farmed on challenging terrain, they had eight children to feed but my life hard - no way. I had challenges and difficult situations to overcome but I cannot honestly say my life has been hard.
#4. I don't need anybody, I can do life all by myself . What a big fat lie, ouch! Some, if not all of these lies we tell ourselves come from a place of hurt. I do appreciate all my teachers who have helped me on this journey into spiritual awakening. I am grateful for all of them - the ones who write books, have talks and TV shows, the ones who I can call and reason with, all giants in their own way.
#5. I am not important. Yes I am! If I was not important I would not have been born, hello!! We are all important just as we are because we are all in service of something bigger than ourselves. The fact that there are over 7 BILLION people on earth and every one has a unique finger print is the dead give away - you think? My journey to this realization has astounded and fascinated me the most so far.
My dear friend, I truly hope that this will inspire you to examine your thoughts today. Make your own list and as my friend and former coach Pat Williamson would say "bring out the garden sheers and start snipping the stories". Suffering ends when we cut the stories and change our perspective on past events.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Beverley
Investment Fund Advisor & Life and Health Insurance Advisor
#Desire #Faith #Courage #GrowthMindset #PersonalGrowth #ChangeExperience
Intellectual knowledge of this phenom wont change a thing though. I considered and prided myself as one of those honest, upstanding human beings and so it was intentional focused effort to get through one of the most difficult periods on my earthly sojourn that lead me to the work of Byron Katie @ByronKatie, TheWork.com lead me to this awareness. It is close to twenty years now. During one of our sessions my coach put on a tape of a talk by Byron Katie; prior to that I never heard of her but that was life changing for me. In the tape Ms. Katie relayed the dramatic story that a mistrusting young wife told herself about her husband every time he's late getting home followed by her punch line "just because you have a thought doesn't mean you have to believe it". That session definitely ignited in me the habitual practice of reflection and self-examination. Here are the top 5 lies I told myself, in no particular order of frequency or intensity.
#1. No one was there for me - lie, lie, lie! Perhaps some people who I expected or wanted to be there for me during my difficulties were not there. They did not show up in any way, as a matter of fact some ran for the hills, however God placed some very awesome people in my life at every step of my journey. When I shifted my focus to being grateful and thankful for those who showed up my hurts vanished as I was no longer a victim of circumstances and more help, more opportunities and more appreciation showed up as well.
#2. I raised my children by myself - this could not be more false! Many single and divorced parents tell themselves this lie. Every single step of the way there we incredible people in my life. While there were no biological grandparents around and certainly not the closeness of uncles, aunts and cousins I grew up with, every place lived I met and lived and worshiped among terrific people. Even now when I visit my old neighbourhood in Heart Lake Village, Brampton Ontario I instinctively say to myself "this was a great place to raise my children, I could not have picked a better place to live - I could still live here".
#3. Life is hard - yes it is hard if that is what I tell myself. My grandparents' lives were hard, and in some cases brutal! I remember hearing stories from my maternal grandfather, Granville, affectionately called Pupa, about living in Cuba and working on the Panama Canal. He returned home a sick man and remained sickly for the remainder of his life. My parents' lives were hard, they mostly farmed on challenging terrain, they had eight children to feed but my life hard - no way. I had challenges and difficult situations to overcome but I cannot honestly say my life has been hard.
#4. I don't need anybody, I can do life all by myself . What a big fat lie, ouch! Some, if not all of these lies we tell ourselves come from a place of hurt. I do appreciate all my teachers who have helped me on this journey into spiritual awakening. I am grateful for all of them - the ones who write books, have talks and TV shows, the ones who I can call and reason with, all giants in their own way.
#5. I am not important. Yes I am! If I was not important I would not have been born, hello!! We are all important just as we are because we are all in service of something bigger than ourselves. The fact that there are over 7 BILLION people on earth and every one has a unique finger print is the dead give away - you think? My journey to this realization has astounded and fascinated me the most so far.
My dear friend, I truly hope that this will inspire you to examine your thoughts today. Make your own list and as my friend and former coach Pat Williamson would say "bring out the garden sheers and start snipping the stories". Suffering ends when we cut the stories and change our perspective on past events.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Beverley
Investment Fund Advisor & Life and Health Insurance Advisor
Desjardins Financial Security Investments Inc.
Desjardins Financial Security Independent Network
Ontario Central Region (OCR), GTA West Branch
5070 Dixie Road
Mississauga, On L4W 1C9
T. (905) 276-9456, Ext 4414
E. beverley.allen@dfsin.ca
#Desire #Faith #Courage #GrowthMindset #PersonalGrowth #ChangeExperience
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