Mindset is the single most important determinant of success or failure on the road to wealth accumulation and the creation of generational wealth. What exactly is mindset? Dictionary.com defines mindset as "a fixed mental attitude or disposition that predetermines a person's responses to and interpretation of situations". This is pretty clear and accurate definition as it relates to all things money. Mindset is "hard wired" way of thinking based of beliefs and experiences accumulated through family upbringing, life experiences, religious and spiritual beliefs plus our own fears, desires and expectations based on how we interpret the world around us. Much of the hard wiring is on an unconscious level so we are not even aware of how these unconscious beliefs affects our decisions.
I have encountered some distinct patterns and mindsets during the course of my career in the financial services business and as a keen student in the school of life. Take life insurance for instance; I have had highly intelligent and educated prospective clients say that they do not believe in life insurance and yet they understood life insurance as what it is - a tool where by you make arrangement for a sum of money you have not yet accumulated (and in many cases may not accumulate over a lifetime) to be paid out to the beneficiary or beneficiaries upon the death of the insured person. Clearly any responsible person who does not have a trust fund set up for them, no longer lives in a village where family members take care of each other, who has created financial obligations (a family, debt) should have at least sufficient life insurance to take care of their funeral expenses and other financial obligations. It would not take long in a casual chat about life insurance before the story where someone in the family - a parent, or grandparent "got taken to the cleaners" or lost money through an insurance company or an insurance agent, usually many many years ago before the insurance industry became the highly regulated and before systems now common place were even invented. Ditto for investing in the stock markets. A bad experience in the family repeated often creates a mindset that says only the bank is safe, or only the very rich can afford to invest in the stock markets. The sad thing is that the negative experience sometimes has no resemblance whatsoever to the current reality and yet is is used as a block or hindrance to making beneficial decisions today. In 1997 I ran into an old school mate who was living in New York. I had not seen him for over twenty years. Getting reacquainted we had many conversations about different aspects of life. In one such discussion he told me that he would never buy a house in New York. I was puzzled by this statement as he had a family and they were living a a rented house but his wife wanted them to have their own home and this became a bone of contention in their marriage. After sharing my philosophy on home ownership and how it could be worthwhile for them if thy got a multi-family property I could see light bulbs popping. Did not hear from my friend for about six months after that. One morning my phone rang and upon answering I heard his voice, he sound very upbeat, even excited. After exchanging pleasantries he went on to tell me that he and his wife had purchased a home and how happy that had made her. The property was a triplex so the family occupied one unit while the other two were rented out. From what I know, they still own the home. Given they way real New York estate has gone in the last twenty years it worked out very well for them. Mindsets can change, especially if it is a position taken without proper information and or out of fear.
Driving around you sometimes see bumper stickers that read "I AM SPENDING MY CHILDREN'S INHERITANCE". This is good for a few kicks and giggle, but a mindset like this will stop some people from planning for when they will no longer be around. If they have assets it is lawyers, accountants and the government who become their most significant beneficiaries. Quite often this mindset is an excuse to explain away an embarrassing financial reality or poor spending habits.
Some stances on money are not hard wired but are born out of bitterness and disappointments from children and other family members. People do feel let down after making tremendous sacrifice and the hurt and disappointment and feelings of being let down cause them to make decisions that are detrimental to their own future as well as that of future generations. Take for example this lady I will call Velma (not her real name), she was so hurt by the behaviour of one of her daughters that her share as a beneficiary on the life insurance was kept at a very small percentage until finally the relationship was repaired. Velma was so happy about being able to see her grandchildren from this daughter she went and had her will redone and changed her beneficiary designations to leave a more equitable share of her estate for this daughter. I call these types of situation "soft wiring" or situational mindset.
Releasing Negative Mindsets & Money Blockers
"You cannot change your destination overnight but you can change your direction." Jim Rohn
Thought patterns more deeply ingrained because of generational baggage and trauma are more challenging to shift or overcome but it is certainly possible. "I want to be more successful with my money and at life, where do I start?" First comes awareness, by reading this you are connecting with the writing and becoming conscious of the need to look at what needs to change. You most definitely will be getting little ah ha moments. Keep going, the more you pay attention, the more frequently they come. The good thing is once you see, you cannot "unsee", and if you build a strong desire the information and opportunities you need will find their way to you. I strongly suggest you get a personal coach, and depending on your family history and life experience you may be wise to also seek professional counselling. Trying to move forward without dealing with your "blockers" would be like trying to swim against the current during a storm.
I could not write about money mindset without talking about the influence of our religious beliefs on how we view and deal with money. Because I am a Christian I know the damages that "wrong believing" taught and practiced in many church denominations can do. I experienced this first hand, and I see it with other practicing Christians in my business and hear about it through other personal encounters. I was a young Christian mother, around thirty two years old, going through a difficult time in life. I have always been a believer, raised in a Christian home, but my mother was a pragmatic Christian. She was not one of those women who saw church attendance as being more important that caring for her young children. I was baptized in the Apostolic faith, which was new to me, and found some of their practises much too rigid and impractical in a changing world but I wanted to be a good church member so I followed along. Some of the older members were exceptionally hard on the young women, even those with young children. I remember once arriving at church and being accosted and chastised by an Evangelist that I was "running down money" because I was absent from the mid-week services. I never discussed my personal business with this lady, she know nothing about me. I was going through so much at the time, having two young children and a husband who was not cooperating or pulling his share of the family responsibilities. That experience left me so hurt me that it took me a while to get over it, but I never forget it. Not long after that I moved from the city to the suburbs and never returned to that church, having been back only once for a funeral. Yes, even the church that should be a place of refuge sometimes pile on more hurt and damage than the outside world.
Small changes add up and pay huge dividends. For me leaving the city for a nice suburban town in a lovely family oriented neighbourhood was the first of many significant moves that I made on my journey through the the second phase of my life. Act II, as I call it, was all about raising my children to be successful adults, surving and thriving in self-employment and coming out at the other end sane and healthy. By making intentional changes to steer your life in the direction of your dreams you will reinvent yourself without even realizing it! You have to be prepared to make shifts in your belief system and do things that you may not otherwise be prepared to do though, otherwise it will not happen for you.
Here are some books that have helped me that you may want to read.
1) Ageless Body, Timeless Mind by Deepak Chopra.
2) Intentional Living by John C. Maxwell.
3) The 15 Invaluable Laws Of Growth by John C. Maxwell.
4) How Successful People Think by John C. Maxwell.
In case you are wondering, yes, I love John Maxwell's work! He is the number one leadership expert and I do believe he leads by example. He also happens to be an ordained minister.
Good reading,
BEVERLEY ALLEN, FLMI
Beverley
Investment Fund Advisor & Life and Health Insurance Advisor
Desjardins Financial Security Investments Inc.
Desjardins Financial Security Independent Network
Ontario Central Region (OCR), GTA West Branch
5070 Dixie Road
Mississauga, On L4W 1C9
#MoneyTalk #MoneyTalkwithBevAllen #TheValueOfSoundAdvice #MoneyMoxie #MoneyMindset #RetirementReadiness
No comments:
Post a Comment